Everybody hurts, after the break...
"The Funny Thing About Grief..."
Soundtrack for this Post:
(from 2024's 'The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology', White Ghost Vinyl is available on Amazon [AFFL]!)
...is that it sucks.
No matter the situation. From the biggest most intensely scary world changing scenario you can imagine in your mind to the small stuff that alters us to our cores. Always remember to put yourselves in each others shoes. Because the love that hurts from past grief doesn't really go away as time passes, does it? It's there. Waiting to pull you aside. To make you feel less than zero.
Trying to be stronger than those moments truly is a challenge. Especially when you don't win those encounters all the time. I'm still learning and that's all a person can do, you know? Have to stop myself from foreseeing all the future grief down the road in order to keep me from drowning of overthinking for sure. Music continues to help this listener focus.
There is help out there. Seek it if you feel overwhelmed. Please. You are loved. Remember the small acts that left your heart warmed.
Here's a small blurb about a recent event that left me speechless. Enjoy...
I started to materialize this blurb over the Summer season after spending the afternoon at my Aunt & Uncle's place up in Ventura.
They're always begging for us to stop by. We usually give them a day or two because it is hard for my mother to see them for their presence brings back memories of my late father. That's how she deals with the longstanding grief. Despite how much the two couples were quite close throughout our lives. Guess it only makes the memories grow stronger when they come in contact, right? How she has been dealing with it since 2019. This listener just closed himself off after the pandemic gave me the excuse. I learned how to deal with all the broken pieces much like Ms. Swift sings about on her stellar heartbreaking anthem. Truly is an art form in its own right... right?
But I never thought to walk in my Uncle's shoes until a few months ago.
My Father and his younger brother had always been close. They were basically cut from the same cloth with similar taste. A true definition of a shadow. Experiencing the same troubles before finding peace in adulthood. I can only imagine how his departure has affected his soul over the past five years Probably hurts harder than heaven. For everlasting love never truly stops burning. For better or worse.
Everything started to reveal itself as my Uncle approached me as I was checking out his office just before leaving. That room was one of my favorite places to escape during those get-togethers for some much-needed gaming time as my family talked about various things. It had everything: a big-screen TV, video games, coffee table books, guitars, CDs, and plenty of vinyl. I will remember it fondly for the rest of my life.
I mentioned his fantastic Vinyl collection and all of a sudden he was handing over the three pieces of wax in the pictures above & below from Record Store Day...
- Foreigner - 'self-titled [reissue]'
- Jimi Hendrix Experience - 'Hollywood Bowl August 18, 1967'
- The Who - 'The Who By Numbers'
Was left completely spellbound by the kind gesture. That's like $100 worth of Vinyl in my hand as I sat in the passenger seat.
Then my mom brought up that my uncle and father would trade music every time they met for a visit. All of a sudden a small memory erupted in my mind... my father digging through his collection in a panic before leaving for Ventura on Holiday years before the Cancer battle. Good thing I was sitting down cause I was completely knocked out on my feet by the feelings. Felt a rush of emotions from pride to regret in a nanosecond. That's how I knew how badly he missed his Brother. Because I could imagine and feel how wonderful a tradition they truly had.
I made a promise on that ride home that I would keep my father's side of the deal forever. That way his generously caring spirit will never abandon his brother(s). Remember it is the actions born from love that help people manage grieve the best.
Read a fantastic quote the other day from Lupita Nyong’o about the late great Chadwick Boseman on the fourth anniversary of his tragic passing. She wrote on Instagram:
“Grief never ends. But it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It’s the price of love...”
Just ingest that for a second alongside this listener...
...
...
...
A heavy price indeed. Really have nothing to add to it. So let's keep moving forward. Thanks for reading.
(Miss ya Papa. Can't believe it's been 5 years. Thank you for being our protector.)
